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Got a crush on one of the hostesses I work with. I think she likes me too. Not sure. How do I talk to girls…
I need to stop feeling hope
Almost would rather just lay in silence. Unending silence. Forever. Dead. I wanna be dead.
For some reason, tonight is bad. I’m thinking about her. I know I don’t want to. I know she’s probably not good for me, but idk. I just miss how she feels. It’s been so long since I had anyone. Anyone I enjoy being with in a romantic capacity, that is. Tinder is proving unsuccessful. Too nervous to meet people in person, though that seems to be my strong suit. I’m frustrated and just wishing I could get to sleep. I don’t want this person plaguing my tired thoughts anymore, but I suppose it’s not up to me. For the most part, I really am over her, but there’s still something in there that makes me miss her arms around me and her head on my shoulder. I miss a lot of things. Mostly though, I miss countless opportunities to make my life happier and that’s definitely my biggest regret with her.
As always, I really, truly hate myself.